Coach to Coach: Lose Control, Gain Trust

As football coaches, we often seemed ob- Losing control for trust is an odd thing. can control thinking. This leads to over- sessed with control. Not only do we want While it seems like you are giving up a thinking and paralysis by analysis. Rather our players to control their thoughts, emo- desired outcome, you’re not. You’re just than trusting that they know how to make tions, and actions, we want to control the clearing headspace to focus on what mat- the right calls, coaches try to control think- line of scrimmage, control the clock, and ters most to that outcome. Giving up control ing and get in their own heads, or worse, control the game. clears your thoughts of so much confusion, attempt to get in the heads of others. Get While this idea of control seems useful, and in its place develops a freedom and out of your head. Trust that your think- no matter what we think we control, there flexibility that goes beyond any power you ing is fine if your head is in the game. are limits to it. Even the simple act of run- ever imagined you could get from control. Pay attention to the flow of the game and ning or walking has limits. If it didn’t, we’d It’s really an interesting thing. We fear the calls will come to you. You’ve already all choose to run as fast as Usain Bolt, losing control because we think if we do done the planning and thinking through wouldn’t we? The truth is, when we believe things won’t go our way, but when we finally scenarios at the appropriate time. Trust something is within our control, it’s usually give up control, we realize how many things that the work will pay off and you’ll know only because we are overlooking something actually do go the way we want or plan, what to do. outside of our control that is going our way. and all of them seem suddenly miraculous. If your desire to control is too strong, Control is an illusion. And when things don’t go our way, because it is likely that you will limit your ability Just because you don’t have control we were honest about our lack of control in to be flexible and make adjustments to doesn’t mean you aren’t powerful. In fact, the first place, there is very little frustration adapt and overcome. When control breaks you will be amazed at how powerful you yet there is so much flexibility for what you down, and it always does, confusion and feel when you give up control and replace can do. frustration set in. Don’t let this happen. it with trust. In a game, so many game-time mis- Understand that instead of control, you takes are made when coaches believe they have influence and trust.

Trust in your preparation and the pro- and kicker trusting their skills, not thinking Dr. Jared Wood has been an educator for cess of getting ready for the game. Trust about how they can control them. the past 20 years and a sport psychol- that you can make the needed calls. Let In order to build consistent team play, ogy coach for the past 15 years. Visit his your head be clear of confusion that results players need to trust each other. This is website 1sideline.com to find free articles. from too much desire to control that which true for all positions, but let’s take for ex- You can contact Dr. Wood at jaredwood@ you cannot control. Flow with the game. ample quarterbacks and receivers. To gain mac.com or 248-535-5358. Follow him Dominate what you can. The very fact that consistency in routes, receivers need to on Twitter: @1sideline & @woodjared. you don’t control a sport outcome is what run the routes trusting that the ball will be makes it enjoyable. Influence over what thrown to the correct spot. In order to gain can’t be controlled is the very reason we consistency in throws, quarterbacks need enjoy challenges and worthy opponents. to trust that receivers will run the correct routes. If either is trying to control the oth- er, this consistency will be much harder, if not impossible to achieve. If the trust is never achieved, it will be a constant bat- tle of adjustments in an attempt to control something that requires trust. When reactions to game situations are needed, trust is again superior to control. Attempts to control often lead to paralysis by analysis. This is the opposite of what If you are always trying to control what is needed for fast, fluid, reactive perfor- your players think, feel, and do, then you mance. Train a reaction and trust it. It will are trying to point out to them that they end up seeming like control even though cannot exceed your lead, your control. Is it’s something much different, something this really what you want? I understand better. you want discipline, but do you want dis- Finally, don’t buy into the idea that cipline because you control it, like a prison emotions need to be controlled. What you warden cages in his population with walls, really want most of the time is compo- or do you want discipline that comes from sure, and that isn’t the same as control. within the player because he understands Players should understand that no matter it’s the right thing to do? The best dis- what they are feeling at the time, they can cipline is demonstrated through trust, not influence their composure and that of their control. What we really want is trust in teammates. Furthermore, when it comes to our players, and we hope they exceed positive emotions, you may actually want our expectations. Exceeding expectations players to love the game and each other is an obvious contradiction to control. It’s at higher and higher levels. This constant a complete lack of control, and it doesn’t surging past old barriers is actually a lack come from attempts to control. It comes of control. It requires trust and giving one- from trust. self up to something bigger than the per- Physically, players who attempt to sonal ego. control their motions get stuck in their own heads. They lack the fluid moment that *Give up control of your actions; it will lead comes from learning a skill to the point of to trust and automatic execution. automaticity, and when they create pres- sure, which is a personal mental phe- *Give up control of your thoughts; it will nomenon, it only clouds their controlling lead to insight, flexibility, and brilliance be- thoughts and leads to worse performance. yond your existing ideas of what is pos- We can’t think ourselves through physical sible. performance. We can’t control it. We have to train it to the point of automaticity and *Give up control of your emotions; it will then free our minds by trusting it will be lead to both composure and more joy than there in the moment we need it. you’ve experienced in the sport. I can assure you, with the game on the line, you want your snapper, holder, *Give up control of the game; it will lead to flexible adjustments and more domination